Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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