I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
