I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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