Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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