i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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