so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
