May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
