I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
