Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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