I want to have your abortion
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
