i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
