girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
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We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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