Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
