If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
