Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
