Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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