Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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