what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
