Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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