I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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