There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
