and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
