The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
