grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
