remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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