I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
