I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
