Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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