just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
