Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
