she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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