she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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