My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
