There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
