no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize