P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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