Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
