i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
