Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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