I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
