Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
