I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
