i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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