She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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