I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
