Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
