She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
