I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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