do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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