She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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