Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
