This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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