Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I smell like Dick and happiness
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
