Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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