i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
