Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
