You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
