am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
