no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
