He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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